i love u! how can u not see that? how can u go on without feeling anything back? how can u cudle with me all night into the next day witout sleep and not say what i wanna hear? how can u touch me with the warmest passion and then sleep so far from me? why do i feel ur love one secund and then the next its gone? how can u live without my love... or is that the reson u call me back to u? why do u use me? why dont u see that we r made to be (maybe not forever but for a time)? why dont u see that i need u in my life and not just in me?
why cant i just give up? why do u want u to change ur mind with my whole being?
all i want from u is that u care and dare to say it. i want u to love me even if its just in a friendly way. i am not asking for much just the chans to show u that love is nothing to fear and nothing u can live without. i am not asking for more time or a deeper comitment all i ask from u is that u lett me in and that u lett urself feel the best feeling on earth. learn that its is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. i wanna be there for u, please lett me!
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i bet u are all wondering how it went with my party ( the one i wrote about last, the one where i would meet my ex and his new girl). it went just fine. i got nervus a day before and realiced thatmy ex could verry well had been not only cold but meen and that we have been though to much for me to just lett him be meen. but he would whrahter make me feel better than make sure that she didnt flipp... he talked to me manny times and sneecked a few hugs and a goodby kiss... nothing fancy of any thing just a lil peck. well she did aparantly flipp becouse off me and went home and him after. i will always love him and i hope she knows that just as well as we do but i also want her to know that that love turned into a friendly love long before i left him and that i dont want anything more than what i deserv after 7 years! i can have him still but i dont want him and she would be wise to treat me better that air and expect him to do tha same... sounded like a threat but its not... i am not taking him back but i can tell her a few things about the perfect love she found and i can talk him into better thoughts... really dont want to thou... and yes this is one off my mantal sides but bare with me... i am better that i sound... just acting out where i can.
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